Concealed Emotions
by ElectraheartxX
Summary: This is my very first fanfiction, please give it a go. It's about what Natsume's life was like in Gakuen Alice before Mikan came. It also describes his deep emotions and explains what kind of missions the academy is forcing him to do. This story will also go deeper in to his punishments for misbehaving in future chapter. Give this fanfic a try and you might like it ;)
1. Introduction: My pain and sorrow

**Hey! This is my very first fanfiction, i hope you'll like it :)**

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**Natsume's POV**

My eyes snap wide open as I awake from the horrid images that appeared in my nightmare, my palms are sweating and I am out of breath. Every night I hear the agonizing screams of my loved ones, pain rises in my chest as I think of the faces of those I deeply care for suffering the same dark faith I am forced upon if I don't accomplish the classified missions I am forced to do. I cannot let those whom I value the most endure the same agony I feel every waking day of my abbreviating life. I push myself off bed and prepare for another somber day at Gakuen Alice. My limbs are soar from my recent punishment after failing to achieve a mission and my body feel as though it is about to collapse on the cold wooden floor beneath my feet. I ignore all the pain cursing through my body and make my way out the dorm to Class B.

My walk to class is cut short and I am greeted by a very familiar face that infuriates me. He grins wickedly at me and says "You almost forgot to wear this" he hands me my 'Black Cat' mask as another form of punishment for my failed mission. His dark gloomy eyes bore in to mine and all I could think of is hate.

"That was a close one last night", He says "-you were almost caught by the enemy."

"You should focus more on your mission next time." He starts to walk away but stops in the middle of his tracks, he turns to face me with a vicious smile,

"You wouldn't want your loved ones to pay the price, now do you?" He laughs wickedly at my angered expression and disappears in to the distance as I stand there with rage filling up inside of me and hatred growing stronger by the second.

_I will never let your vile hands lay a single finger on those I deeply care for._

The mask delivers painful shocks that runs through my body and sends me constant headaches; I hide my discomfort as I continue my way to Class B. I start to think of my family who I have not seen in a very long time as I glaze at the sky above wondering if I will ever meet them again considering my poor condition, wondering if I will ever be released from my agony.

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**That's my first chapter done ;) i hope that you did like it. I know it's very short but i promise that i will write a the next chapter longer :) Please tell me if you liked it and if you want to read more of it and any criticism that would help me improve my work would be gladly appreciated :) I hope to be writing more of this fanfiction :D Byeee! ;)**


	2. Chapter 1: Class B

**Heeey! Sorry I haven't posted a chapter for such a long time! xC I've been busy with school life and the school holidays have just started. I started writing this fanfic last night before I went to sleep and finished it off today. I'm so so sorry for not updating in ages, I promise that I will update faster now Cx anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter! I promise you this is so much longer than my previous chapter :D**

**-ElectraheartxX**

**Natsume's POV**

"Natsume!" I look over to my left to the person who called out for me. It's Ruka, he's glad to see me. "Wait up", he says as he makes his way towards me. He catches up to me with a worried expression on his face.

"Where have you been?" his light blue eyes resembles his soft caring character.

"-I was worried about you. You haven't attended school for a while; I was beginning to think something bad happened to you", I don't utter a word and avoid his gaze.

"Natsume, please tell me, are you okay?" I look up to see his worried expression pleading for an answer.

I hesitate to answer him because it would only concern him more. "I'm okay, don't worry about me. I've just been busy with this task that Persona set for me". Ruka is unsatisfied and sees right through my answer. He glances at the scars and bruises that envelop me and looks up; once again I avoid his gaze. He decides to ignore his second thoughts and warmly smiles then says "Oh okay, let's go to Class B before the bell goes".

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Everyone stops in astonishment as I enter the class. The look of fear is evident in most of their eyes; I smirk at their expressions and make my way to my desk. I hear their whispers all around me; their frightened eyes bore in to me.

The air is tensed but it seems that my presence deepened the tension of the atmosphere. We've been together for a long time although we have never eased with one another, we are always uncomfortable with each other.

"Natsume!" I hear a familiar flirtatious squeal in my ears which belongs to no other than Shoda, one of the only few people who does not hate or fear me. Students like Shoda, Mochiage and Usami do not despise me like most students do. The students who like me think of me as a _'cool rebellious student who does not care of what the teacher says'. _But the truth is I am not as rebellious as I am said to be by my peers, I sacrifice my well-being to pursue all the cruel missions the school sets out for me so that the once I care for won't be forced to accomplish undercover duties like me.

"Natsume. Natsume!" I am brought out of my thoughts by the screeching voice of Shoda. I glance around the room; everyone is alarmed by Shoda's sudden outburst. A glimpse of the clock tells me that I've spaced out for a while. Ruka turns to face me, "Natsume, are you okay? You've been watching the cloudy sky outside for a long time now" I decide to tell him what's really bothering me later.

"I'm fine. Who's the teacher today?" I ask hoping it is not Narumi.  
"Uh-um Narumi-sensei" Says Shoda.  
"Let's go" I say to Ruka but before we could exit the class Narumi walks in. He greets me in a ridiculously cheery voice.  
"Hello Natsume-kun, it's been a while, how have you been hmm?" I ignore his greeting and walk back to my desk.

The day drags on and is painfully longer than usual. I try to sleep through class to waste time but the constant cheery voice of Narumi makes my body cringe and my ears bleed in exasperation. The bell finally rings indicating the end of class session. I leave the class immediately leaving Ruka behind with the girls who admire him and find myself a quite place under a tree. I wait for Ruka as I think of what I did to that man during my recent mission.

_-(Flash back)-_

"_Do it Natsume! Do it!" I look at the pained expression of the man standing before me.  
I am about to use my Alice on him when he starts whimpering and pleading._

"Please, please spare me my life. I have a family, I can't leave them behind." His words hit me like daggers dashing through the air and piercing my heart. I can't hurt this man.

"_What are you waiting for Natsume? Do it!" I look over to the man driving the engine and immediately think of what will happen if I don't do as he says. _

_I create a wall of flames that surrounds the pleading man and clasped my heart in pain for using my Alice, as I hurry my way in the back seat of the engine I stare at the man behind the flames as we drive back to the academy hoping that my flames won't do too much damage to the man._

_-(End of Flashback)-_

I look beside me and Ruka's sudden presence startles me. "How do you do it?"

"Huh?" I look at him with a questioned expression written across my face.

He chuckles and speaks again. "I mean how do you do it? How do you always manage to escape from those girls?" I huff in annoyance at the girls but decide to play along "It must be my hidden ability." Ruka laughs at my comment and stares ahead in to the distance. I watch the clouds in the sky as we sit in comfortable silence waiting for the ringing of the bell.

**Heey! I hope you liked that chapter, let me know what you think of it :) Also let me know if you want to read more :) I promise I'll update as soon as I can :D SEE YAH! xD**

**-ElectraheartxX**


	3. Chapter 2: New girl

**Heey, so I've been meaning to write another chapter but I got too caught up with reading books and hanging out with my friends in the holidays coz one of my closest friends ever is going back to Japan this coming Monday on the 20th of Jan to live there again :'C Anyway I hope you won't be disappointed with this chapter after the long wait :/**

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**Natsume's****POV**

Some days I find myself looking back to the memories I had outside the academy. I ran freely as a child outside our house in the fields of our farm. I used to smile everyday and laugh hysterically when my father tickled me. My mother would read me a bedtime story before I sleep. Aoi **(A/N: Natsume's little sister) **and I would play hide and seek around the house. Ruka and I used to pretend to fly high in the sky and save the troubled mortals who needs our help, I was Fire Boy and he was Mr. Pheromone: Together we were the greatest super heroes of all time and no one could defeat us. I felt lucky to have them in my life. I was the most joyful little boy. To me my life was perfect; I felt that nothing could go wrong. I was happy. I was cheerful until the dreadful news of mother's death changed me. I wasn't the same happy boy I used to be. I felt embarrassed to show my emotions so I buried them inside of me and masked myself with a cold empty personality.

I sometimes regret the decision I made that day to bury my emotions because some days I just want to be heard, I just want to be released from the sorrow that's burning inside of me, I want to find happiness. But I can't. It's hard to change the person I already am, I can't go back to change the decision I already made, no matter how much I try..I can't take back the promise I gave my heart years ago, the only thing I can do now is to hope that things will get better.

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"All right class I have an announcement to make ", everyone in class stares blankly at Narumi as he continues with his announcement.  
" –A new student will be arriving in Gakuen Alice next week and will be assigned in our class!", he grins excitedly and waits for the class's expression.

I show no interest to the news but the class is buzzing with anxiety and excitement. I wait for their loud whispers to die down hoping the class session will end soon.

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***~*~**** One Week later ****~*~***

The new student walks gracefully inside the class and introduces herself.  
"Hotaru Imai, 10 years old, Alice of Invention", she gives the only necessary information and makes her way to the seat next to Inchou like Narumi had said. A portion of the class gladly meets her but the majority of us are uninterested.

The weeks fly by, I carry on the usual missions for the school and try my best to attend school every day. I learn that Imai is a very intelligent person who creates peculiar mechanism that physically hurts people, charges money or send people messages. She easily becomes a three star student during the first week due to her polite behaviour, resilience and resourcefulness. She barely utters a word unless spoken directly to and she often likes to be alone however Inchou, Ogasawara **(A/N: Nonoko)** and Umenomiya **(A/N: Anna)** are keen to get to know her.

"Have you spoken to Imai?" Ruka says beside me

"I don't want to." I plainly reply back.

"Ogasawara over there told me that it's hard to keep a conversation going with her." He said slightly nodding his head towards Ogasawara. "She wants to be Imai's friend. She said the only thing they've learnt about her is that she eats a lot and she's a genius."

I sigh and say with a blank face, "Ruka I'm not interested"

"I know but you haven't heard what I was meaning to tell you about her"

I stare at him waiting for him to continue.

"People say the reason why she came to the academy is to give money to her previous school at the country side because it was about to be shut down because the school did not have enough money." I am about to say something but he beat me to it. "–They also say that she didn't tell her best friend she was coming here until she was about to leave. She told her best friend by writing a letter and sent one of her robotic messengers to send it to her."

I raise my brow and think of what I will say, "It's not our business, it probably isn't true anyway".

"Yeah you're probably right"

No one will treat their best friend that bad unless they have a very good reason and I'm almost certain that she has a good reason.

Imai is a mysterious girl who seems to like hitting people who deserve it. No one really knows anything about her or where she came from. She would often stare in to spaces after lessons as if thinking about someone or remembering a memory. Her expression is always blank; people say she's just a quite person with no enthusiasm. But I know she's not just a quite person with no enthusiasm, somehow I think she's lonely and she's longing for her loved ones. We may not be that different from one another, I just wonder when she will open up and show us who she really is beneath that blank expression.

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**Thank you for taking your time to read this, let me know if you're keen on reading more. I hope that I will update sooner because school is starting at the end of the month for me here in New Zealand. Please tell me if you like it or not, don't be afraid to criticise because I take criticism as a feedback to help improve myself anf learn from my mistake :) **


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